


Cabins, Late Night Kisses, and Renewed Hope

by searider_Falcon



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, I did not edit this - so forgive the errors, i’m in a fluffy love kind of mood, love love love, the damn birds woke up in real life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 10:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19105435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/searider_Falcon/pseuds/searider_Falcon
Summary: Kathryn reflections on things late at night with some sweet tidbits thrown in.





	Cabins, Late Night Kisses, and Renewed Hope

The cabin was dark and quiet. It was early morning. The sun hadn’t made its ascent into the ink sky overhead. Kathryn Janeway looked out the window. She admired the scenery outside. Even though it was dark, she could see the tall pine branches sway in the gentle breeze. She surmised it was around four in the morning. Already birds were singing, gleefully anticipating the sunrise. Their songs were what had woken Kathryn at this ungodly hour. It took her a moment to register what the sound was. She hadn’t heard birds in so long. It wasn’t until this moment which found her standing in her nightgown and robe, clutching a cup of coffee, that she realized how much she missed that sound. 

Growing up in Indiana, birds and critters of the open fields of North America’s Midwest were so common Kathryn found they were easily overlooked. At least, by her. She was always one who was looking up at the stars and dreaming about the day when she would be up there. Now, here she was, back on Earth after having travelled the stars for so long, and feeling the pang of longing to get connected to her home planet again. 

Thus, the cabin. A place to steal away from the hustle of Starfleet. The over attentiveness of her mother and the seemingly endless questions of the press quickly grew taxing. Voyager was home. Her captain a hero. And her return came with a lot of surprises. Mostly about herself and all things she didn’t want to share with the entire Federation. 

Kathryn turned away from the window. She walked in her bare feet back to the bedroom. It was odd, being in a room where there was no hum of the warp core, no hiss of an air recycler, or shift in deck plating calibration. It was almost unnerving. It was one of the things she needed to get used to. The time home now made Kathryn realize that if it wasn’t for her assignment to search for her missing security chief, all those years ago, she probably wouldn’t be here at the cabin tonight. She probably won’t be the person she was now. 

Her journey changed her. She’d like to think it was for the better but sometimes the younger, more open, more optimistic version of herself seemed like a distant memory. That that version faded during the years in the Delta quadrant. It wasn’t until Kathryn stood in the doorway of the cabin bedroom that a thought occurred to her. Maybe she came out here to find that version of herself again. She didn’t consciously acknowledge the loss but it wasn’t like she was gone forever. The openness, the optimism, it was all still there, she just had to find it again. Maybe coming here was her way to doing that. Maybe getting away from Starfleet, getting away from the duty, the protocols, and responsibility, would help bring that version of Kathryn Janeway out from the depths of her being.

The past few days here certainly had helped. She felt more centered, more calm and certainly more relaxed of late. Kathryn leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom. It was still dark. A sliver of moonlight that made it through the canopy of trees surrounding the cabin came through the far window and made a straight line on the wooden floor pointing in her direction.

For a brief, sentimental moment, Kathryn liked to think it was the Earth, or in this case, Earth’s moon, recognizing that she was there, in need of reconnection and it was reaching out for her. As if, nature, the moon, and everything connected to it, knew she was a being born of the Earth, and had finally made it home again. The moonlight was like a hand welcoming her home. Kathryn wished for a second that she could reach out and touch the light. Her hand seem to raise as if of its own accord then she let it clutch her coffee cup. Kathryn held the mug to her chest and she smiled and shook her head in amusement. When had she become so melancholy? 

Her eyes traced over the darkened room. It was neat and tidy, despite being lived in for a few days. Starfleet training, she thought, everything must be orderly. Clothes neatly folded on the dresser, a book sat on the nightstand, propped up upside down to save its place. It all felt familiar and yet…

Her gaze travelled to bed. To the man who had been sharing her bed for several weeks now. He was still fast asleep. He lay on his stomach, his bare back rising and falling as he breathed. Kathryn smiled warmly as she watched him sleep. Her melancholy slowly disappearing as her fondness of the sleeping man consumed her thoughts. 

———

It started after they arrived home. Neither of them spoke about how difficult their relationship was the last year of their journey. How it seemed to be falling apart, either from her lack of effort of his unwillingness to try anymore. Neither of them brought up the very short time during their debriefings where they avoided each other. She because the thought of him and Seven of Nine together sickened her heart and he because he was too hurt and proud to admit he made a terrible mistake.

All that changed the night of the party. Starfleet planned a modest, very Starfleet party for the Voyager crew and their families and in true Voyager crew fashion, it quickly became a unruly. Kathryn didn’t mind one bit. The crew deserved it. They all deserved it. She wasn’t going to be the one to stop their giddy shenanigans. After all, she was downright giddy herself that night. Her smiles caught Chakotay’s attention throughout the evening and soon enough the two of them found themselves at a table with a bottle of Irish whiskey and two glasses.

They were a little too drunk that night. A little too happy, a little too flirty, and most definitely too handsy. She could have stopped herself. She could have reminded herself that Chakotay was tied to Seven. But Seven had left the rowdy party hours ago and Chakotay mumbled something about them parting ways. As he whispered the words into her ear Kathryn felt a warm ness flood her entire body. For once, with the help of the whiskey, she wasn’t going to care about rules. She was going to take what she wanted. 

Kathryn felt her face grow hot the memory at how blatantly she flirted with Chakotay that evening. She wasn’t embarrassed, for he flirted right back. His hand caressing hers or his fingers trailing up her arm. The memory of his touch would be burned in her mind forever. It was what she craved for a long time. Longer than she would ever admit out loud. What really did her in was his eyes, warm and affectionate, and daring her to do more. It was a challenge and she was a Janeway, they didn’t back down from challenges. Looking into Chakotay’s eyes that night, she let her hand slide up his chest to the nape of his neck. She let her fingers play with the shortly cut hair at the back of his head. Chakotay could not stop smirk from forming on his face. His dimples making it all the more sexier. Kathryn knew in that moment, she had won. No more wondering, no more what if. Her first officer was hers in every way. By the way Chakotay leaned in close to her, he seemed to willingly give himself to her in any way she wanted. 

Their night of drinking led to a kiss, then ten more kisses, then to Kathryn dragging Chakotay back to her mother’s house, where she had been staying since Voyager’s return, for a more private venue. They gave the transporter technician quite the ammunition for gossip, if she ever dared use it. Kathryn thought maybe the poor crewman working the night shift was so surprised that it didn’t even register with her who had stumbled into the station that night. They tried to keep their hands to themselves as they waited for the technician to input the coordinates for the Janeway home just outside Bloomington, Indiana. They tried and failed to stop the giggles and secretive smiles. It was all thanks to the whiskey. 

It wasn’t any better when they were transported away from the obviously uncomfortable technician. They clung to each other as they navigated through Kathryn’s childhood home. She was constantly shushing Chakotay as they climbed the stairs of her mother’s house. At every creak of a floorboard, Kathryn was sure she would wake her mother. She led Chakotay by the hand to her bedroom and grinned mischievously at him as she closed the door. As she lay on her back, next ot the Chakotay that night, she remembered thinking, she never snuck a boy up to her room before. The thought almost made her laugh out loud. Happiness filling her last waking thoughts before she fell asleep. 

———

Kathryn moved toward the bed. She placed her coffee mug on the bedside table and slipped out of her robe. She climbed onto the bed. Careful not to wake Chakotay. Kathryn propped herself up on an elbow. She traced his hairline with her fingers, allowing herself to brush Chakotay’s hair away from his forehead. His hair was longer than it had been when she first met him and without it being styled back away from his face, his hair flopped onto his forehead. His messy bed head was adorable. Kathryn’s fingers traced his tattoo over his eye, the bridge of his nose, and along his cheek. His morning stubble had grown in. Being at the cabin these past few days, Chakotay hadn’t seen a reason to shave and quite honestly, Kathryn found the rugged look extremely attractive. 

Maybe it was part of the healing process for both of them. The reason they were there, locked away in a cabin in the woods, was to get as far away from Starfleet protocol as they could. It was Chakotay’s idea. He beat back her reluctance with a dimple grin and plea. She fell for it. But in the end, he was right. The cabin, even without a bathtub, was helping her to heal. It was a recovery more so than a healing. It wasn’t as if the Delta quadrant inflicted wounds, per se, but the ordeal left a lot of loose threads, frayed nerves, and a tiredness that weighed heavily on her shoulders. Escaping to nature, even if they did have a power generator, replicator, and phasers (just in case), was a treatment to bring them back to themselves. 

Chakotay chopped wood for a fire. They prepared and cooked homemade meals. Kathryn showed Chakotay where the real sailboat was housed at the nearby Lake George. She promised him they would go sailing for real as soon as the weather allowed. Holding hands as they went on hikes brought a contentment that Kathryn felt physically in her body. It was difficult to put into words but she allowed the memory to course through her like a soothing balm. 

Kathryn let her hand rest of Chakotay's cheek for a while. Her love for this man made her heart swell. It was all consuming. A passion that burned for a long time. Its flame brighter now more than ever. The intensity of it all surprised Kathryn. She felt this kind of love before, with Justin, her first finacé, whom she lost tragically. She honestly didn’t believe she would find a love like that again. It didn’t happen with Mark and a few others in between and she accepted that. It wasn’t until she met Chakotay that all that changed. Her love grew slowly, over seven years and burst through her one night as Voyager hidden inside the Borg ship burst through the transwarp conduit, during their dramatic mission home. This time, she thought, she wasn’t going to let it go. She wouldn’t let anything take this love from her. She worked too hard, sacrificed too much to let it slip away. She needed Chakotay to know how much she felt. How deeply, for how long, and until her last dying breath. 

Kathryn moved closer to Chakotay and rested her head on his shoulder. She hugged his back as he slept. She was grateful that after seven years, after everything Voyager had been through, the person who was by her side now was Chakotay. She told him once that she couldn’t image a day without him. It was true, especially now. He was the one person who truly understood her. He stuck by her, even at her very worst. It wasn’t easy but they always found a way back to one another. 

Chakotay breathed in deeply and Kathryn could tell he was awake. She moved back to her side and looked at him. He smiled at her with a sleepy expression. 

“What are you doing up? It’s still dark out,” he said, his voice lower than normal as he tried to keep himself awake. 

“I’m sorry I woke you,” said Kathryn, although she wasn’t sorry at all. 

Chakotay blinked slowly, “S’okay,” he said. 

His sleepy smile made Kathryn smile too. Kathryn moved closer to him so they were inches apart. 

“What woke you up?” Chakotay asked. Kathryn assumed he thought she had a nightmare. She had her fair share and Chakotay always provided soothing words of comfort in the wee small hours of the morning. She didn’t realized how much she needed those words. But this morning, no nightmare woke her. 

“The birds,” Kathryn smiled. 

Chakotay nodded, “We haven’t heard birds in a long time.” 

Kathryn stroked his cheek, “No, we haven’t.” 

Chakotay closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. 

“It’s peaceful here,” Chakotay said, looking at her again. Kathryn wasn’t sure if he meant the cabin or being in bed. Either way, she agreed. 

“I’ve been looking for this kind of peace for a long time and I found it with you,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn felt tears immediately pop up in her eyes. Chakotay always knew what to say to tug a her heart strings. 

“So have I,” she breathed back. 

It wasn’t until she said it that Kathryn realized how true that statement was. She was at peace. Resting more on her side, she scooted even closer to Chakotay, who wrapped an arm around her waist. 

“Being here with you at the end of all this has given me such happiness, I can even begin to describe it,” said Kathryn, “All I know is, I love you.” 

Chakotay took in a deep breath and smiled, “I love you too.” 

“Then show me, mister,” Kathryn said, already pulling Chakotay on top of her and rolling onto her back. 

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Chakotay said, his sleepiness gone. 

In the cocoon of Chakotay’s body and the sheets of the bed, Kathryn smiled up at him. He looked down at her with blissful affection before leaning down and capture his lips with his. A kiss full of love and adoration, brought on by seven years of deep friendship and trust. Nestled in their hideaway, Kathryn slowly felt the optimism of her younger self creep back in. Chakotay drawing her out with sweet kisses, caring and sometimes downright filthy words of love and desire, and a renewed sense of hope. 

Tears filled Kathryn’s eyes. This time not brought on by words or grief but by a giddy happiness. A happiness that filled her as she and Chakotay made love. Chakotay gave her a questioning look when he caught a glimpse of her tears but Kathryn simply shook her head and beamed at him. She felt positively aglow with happiness. At that moment, as if nature knew, sunlight sneaked through the bedroom windows. Not all at once but gradually spreading to encompass the room. The golden sunlight washing over them as they lay clutching each other, both shaking from the intensity of their love. Chakotay brushed away her tears, understanding they weren’t from sadness but from a complete joy. Unbridled contentment and bliss. Kathryn was sure he felt it too. He found it in her and Kathryn found it from a cumulation of memories, the friendship and love shared, and this moment, right now, in a cabin in the woods.


End file.
